im sitting at university at my computer and i cant seem to concentrate at all . I have made loads of mistakes and am currently stressing i thought i was finished an it turns out its all wrong i feel myself currently trying to smile when i want to scream !! i just feel i cant do it and im losing the ability to make sense and logic of anything before losing it
well im starting to try to do a bit every day. I managed to take my daughter to her dance and get a roast on the go . I feel like im slowly coming back after couple of weeks or so. I also had a run and showered and washed my hair. I have taken my tablet and watching a few soaps before the tiredness creeps in. I feel a bit more relaxed tonight.
just taking it bit by bit. I am also taking my girls to school for the first time in weeks and then im going straight to uni
im getting over a depressive spell. I was vile to him on Friday but we made up last night . its my birthday next week and he took the girls out to give me space as im soo tired. he left at 12 and 1.30 I decided to get washed and dressed and did a little bit of house work as he been doing everything. He and my children come home he treated them to lunch out and even got them a treat at there favourite shop. I go silent my daughters and husband ask whats wrong I say nothing I go and wash up so im out the way. out of no where instead of being happy im distraught so angry as I want to be the one doing that I want to be the one they laugh with I just cant shift this depressive mood I just want to cry logic of course its great he can just get on with it and the girls dote on him I want to run away I feel I cant look after anyone any more like my job is done. that framiliar guilt comes back I feel since iv been on these meds im weaker .
I feel bad for feeling like this I know I should be grateful but in truth im bitter I cant be the fun one yet !
does anyone else ever feel like that ??
my kids now only call for my husband . I hate him we don’t have sex this is a problem to me ! I went out with uni and had wine I came home he was so angry I thought I could have a few more drinks at home and watch a movie but no he left me to drink on my own ! Shy the fuck did I come back ! He is currently being dad of the fuckin year playing games in other room . There all happy I have a rage that is building